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Master Vic Graves Books / Series of Books: BDSM Training Series
« Last post by Master Graves on May 20, 2016, 06:35:29 PM »
My newest community writing project. The BDSM Training series will consist of several, probabily very long, books designed to teach newcomers to the community the basics. I'm not going to go into any major details at this point, but I will post a short synopsis of each book in the series shortly. For now I'll just list the proposed books in the series.
Books in This Series:
BDSM 101: A Newcomers Guide to the Fetish and Kink Lifestyles
BDSM 102: How to Be Good in Your Role as a Dominant or submissive
BDSM 103: A Guide to Negotiations, Rules, Protocols, and Contracts
BDSM 104: A Beginners Guide to Kinky Play
BDSM 105: A Beginners Guide to Edge Play
BDSM 106: Crafting Your Own Gear
Most of it is fairly self explanatory from the titles. But we intend to go rather in depth on all subjects. That being said, we only intend on going over the basics of any 'how to' instructions, and tell you to find a teacher for more on how to do things specifically. Excepting, of course, for the Crafting book, where we will fully detail how to make several common things, and even give ideas and suggestions for experimenting with new materials and making new things of your own design.
These books will be FREE for download. Donations will always be accepted, but the books are completely free. We want to share what we know, not profit from spewing words on a page. I'll charge you for private lessons, because that's my time and I want to know you are serious enough about learning that you are willing to pay for it. But these books? No, we are writing these for our House and to help the community. I can find no good reason to profit off of that.
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Master Vic Graves Books / Book: Being Me (An Autobiography)
« Last post by Master Graves on May 20, 2016, 06:22:04 PM »
The book is well underway, already on chapter three. Sadly with so much going on in my life, including another book for the community, I have little time to write. It is going to take me awhile to finish it, but I might post what I have so far and then post more in sections as I get them done. We'll have to see about that later. But it will get done eventually, and it will be the definitive source to understanding me, who I am, what I've been through, my issues and what they mean, and the type of person I have become as a result. Likely a must read for anyone wanting to be my slave for any lengthy period of time. Probably a good read for those wanting to join my House too. Probably a waste of time for play partners, and short term dynamics, but if you want to know... Everyone else will likely find it interesting but useless. I'm not writing it because my life is so interesting, I'm writing it for those who truly want to get to know me in depth. I hold back nothing, I don't pull my punches, and I am brutally honest about myself and my past, to the best of my memory anyway. I have no idea how long it will wind up being in the end, but I doubt it will be too very long. I am only going to cover the major points in my life, and particularly the ones detailing my life in the BDSM Community and that lead to or resulted from my issues. I hope you find it enjoyable if you do read it. I fully accept constructive criticism and positive comments of any kind, but I will ignore, if not delete, destructive comments, negative and and tactless mean criticism.
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Series News / New Opening Title Sequence (v2)
« Last post by Master Graves on April 08, 2016, 09:06:11 PM »

That's right version 2 of the opening titles is uploaded to our Gallery and ready for viewing! I worked on it all day yesterday and part of the day today.


It has also been uploaded to our new YouTube Channel here: The House of Graves Presents: -Fetish Life Today-: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCShW1B2UN3jgjVMlitlDp2g


Still need music for it. I want something original and unique to the show, but may have to go with classical music in the end... Maybe Chopin...
And the opening flashcards will have a voice over reading it... Not sure if I will do that myself or get someone else to do it...




But in any case, here it is... looks a lot better than v1 did for sure. Added more to it, and it's only 1 minute long... Though I will likely extend it a bit for some screens and make it over all 1 minute 30 seconds... But that's just detailing, for now I think it's done! Take a look and let me know what you think!
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Community Events / Re: MAsT: Hampton Roads Meeting
« Last post by Master Wes on March 22, 2016, 01:12:26 AM »
For more information on the Hampton Roads chapter of Master's And slave's Together (MAsT-HR), please contact the chapter director, Master Wes (master.wes@joyousreach.com), the MAsT-HR SIG Coordinator, slave terry (slave.terry@joyousreach.com),  or the MAsT-HR Education Coordinator slave fire (https://fetlife.com/conversations/new?with=199883 on Fetlife)
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Community Events / Re: M/s Circles
« Last post by Master Wes on March 22, 2016, 12:57:27 AM »
For more information on the Master's and slave's circles sponsored by MAsT Hampton Roads, please contact the MAsT-HR SIG Coordinator, slave terry (slave.terry@joyousreach.com),  or the chapter director, Master Wes (master.wes@joyousreach.com)
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What Are the Different Types of Relationships?
(Part 1: Monogamy, Polyamorous, Open and Play Partners)

In this article, I am going to describe the differences and similarities between Monogamy, Open, Polyamorous, and “Play Partner” Relationships.  And there is a huge difference between them all.  I will also include a section on how the Dom/sub, Owner/pet, & Master/slave Dynamics can fit into these types of relationships.

I will be doing this in a format to make it as simple as I can to understand for everyone, without treating you all like you are stupid or talking down to you. The format is simple: This: Described: Pros: Cons: Different from A/B/C: Similar to A/B/C. You will notice a bit of repeating here and there as Pros for one are similar to a Pros for another, or the Pros of one are the Cons of another, etc. But I will try and limit the repeating as much as possible.

---

Monogamy: (Mono) The most common relationship in the world. Simply a one on one relationship, with full and complete loyalty to each other. No other partners, sexual or otherwise, are included in the relationship any further than friendships.
Pros:
   Only one person to pay attention to and consider in your daily life. Which does make things easier for you and your partner to keep each other happy and content.
Cons:
   Chances are, not all of your needs can be met by only one person. If they are or not, a danger still can arise of things becoming boring and stagnant. Unless Deep Love exists in this relationship, it has a high chance of failure these days.
Differences:
   Poly: In a Poly there is more than one person to consider and pay attention to. And everyone needs to pay equal amount of attention to all others in the Poly.
   Open: In an Open Relationship, you have one or more other partners, but most times you do not share them with the person you are in a relationship with.
   Playmates: Playmates are other people who are not in your relationship, and usually require permission from your partner to play with them. These are usually non-romantic, can be a onetime thing, or an ongoing arrangement.
Similarities:    
   Poly: None, other than simple relationship basics.
   Open: None, other than simple relationship basics.
   Playmates: None, other than simple relationship basics.

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Polyamorous Relationships: (Poly) Simply put, a multi-person relationship, in which all partners care about each other, equally, and usually in a romantic way. These can include any combination of men and women (or other), even if those of the same sex are not “into” doing certain things with the others. You do not have to be Bi or even Heteroflexible to be in a Poly with members of the same sex included. But it does help. It is, however, possible to have both an Open and a Poly relationship, although rare due to obvious difficulties. Usually, both types of relationships pair best with Play Partners.
Pros:
   In a Poly you are more likely to find, and have fulfilled, all of your needs at all times. If one is at work, another might be available. If one is against feeling pain, another maybe be a masochist. If you are Bi, then having both a woman and a man around is best. This also gives you more people to talk to about problems and issues you may have, both inside and outside of the relationship.
Cons:
   You have to be very careful in selecting your Poly Partners, a bad seed can break apart the entire group. Also everyone in the current Poly must all agree and be able to have or develop feelings for the new person. You also have to be very careful that each of you spend equal time with each of the others, individually as well as in a group. It can provide scheduling problems, and be difficult to keep everyone happy with everyone else sometimes. Occasionally, if one part of the Poly breaks up, it can cause a cascade effect and break up the entire group.
Differences:
   Mono: You have only one partner.
   Open: Biggest difference here is that in an Open, your partner usually does not share your other partners with you, and you rarely share theirs with them. And you both rarely share any romantic attachments to the others partners.
   Playmates: This is the same an Open, but without any real romantic attachments. Also, it is pretty even if your partner joins you or not. Each time is usually a separate encounter and not part of an ongoing arrangement.
Similarities:
   Mono: None, other than simple relationship basics.
   Open: Is very much identical to a Poly, and they are often confused together. The difference being they are all separate relationships. But the basics are the same in regards to needs, people to talk to, and the requirements to spend equal time with all of your partners.
   Playmates: This is very different, and the only real similarity is having multiple partners. As each relationship is basically a onetime thing, even if it repeats or even if it repeats regularly, paying equal attention does not apply, as long as you are paying enough attention to your Partner.

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Open Relationships: (Open) Basically, a Poly without the group dynamic. Sometimes permission and approval has to be given before a new relationship can begin outside the main one. Other times permission isn’t needed, as long as you are careful and always return home to the one you started with at the end of the day. Equal attention must be given to all of your partners, and most times these are romantic and long term relationships. The difference is that your partner does not share your feelings for your other partners, it’s rare that you all will live together, and each paring is separate. It is, however, possible to have both an Open and a Poly relationship, although rare due to obvious difficulties. Usually, both types of relationships pair best with Play Partners.
Pros:
   The same as Poly for the most part. If one relationship breaks up, the others usually stay intact. And without everyone living together, it can create a happier and calmer home life, as well as affording you space of your own. Changes in scenery from person to person also helps to keep the relationships active and fun, and helps prevent any relationship from becoming stagnate.
Cons:
   Much the same as a Poly, you also have to be very careful that each of you spend equal time with each of the others you have a relationship with. It can provide scheduling problems, and be difficult to keep everyone happy sometimes. You also run a higher risk of getting and spreading diseases if you are not careful.
Differences:
   Mono: You have only one partner.
   Poly: Biggest difference here is that in a Poly, your partners share your other partners with you. And all of you share your romantic attachments to the others partners.
   Playmates: This is the same thing as Open really, but without any real romantic attachments. Also, it is pretty even if your partner joins you or not. Each time is usually a separate encounter and not part of an ongoing arrangement.
Similarities:
   Mono: None, other than simple relationship basics.
   Poly: Is very much identical to an Open, and they are often confused together. The difference being that all people are part of the same relationship with each other. But the basics are the same in regards to needs, people to talk to, and the requirements to spend equal time with all of your partners.
   Playmates: This is very different, and the only real similarity is having multiple partners. As each relationship is basically a onetime thing, even if it repeats or even if it repeats regularly, paying equal attention does not apply, as long as you are paying enough attention to your Partner.

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Play Partners: (Playmates) This is the easiest to describe of all of them. Simply put, this style of relationship is nothing more than two, or more, people choosing each other to ‘play’ with. There is never more than friendship between them, and sometimes not even that, although I don’t recommend it. Just people who want to have fun with each other for a specified time. The type of fun is up to those involved and can range from modeling for an artist/photographer, being a rope bottom for a Rigger, Sadomasochism, sexual dominance, or whatever. Usually these are one time things, or randomly repeating with no plans and usually are a spur of the moment choice. Sometimes these can be an arrangement to happen on regular intervals.
Pros:
   No one and nothing to consider except for the current situation and people. Unless you have another type of relationship that requires approval or permission to engage in this.
Cons:
   No sense of permanency or romantic involvement. It is also easy to develop feeling for the other person that are often not returned.
Differences:
   Mono: You have only one partner.
   Poly: No real relationship outside friendship. Usually only one person at a time, and usually only for now. Rarely a group dynamic, and when there is, it is brief and temporary.
   Open: If an arrangement has not been made for regular sessions, it is a onetime thing, or random when you both happen to feel like it.
Similarities:
   Mono: None at all.
   Poly: Only that you can have several play partners.
   Open: If an arrangement has been made, these are very much alike, save that there is usually no romantic connections.

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How does a D/s, M/s, O/p Relationship fit into all this?

As far as types of relationships go, these are a separate entity entirely, and deserve their own article. Which I will write at some point in the future. But for the sake of completeness in this article, I will say a bit about them. We will just use ‘D/s’ from here on out for simplicities sake, but I am referring to all of them at once, unless otherwise noted.

Most D/s relationships fall under the Open or Playmate styles of relationships. They can include a romantic element, but many times fall under the simple love of a Dominant for his submissive. That being said, if a romantic element is involved, they can fall under the Poly or Open styles of relationships, and many are under Monogamy. The various styles of relationships can all contain a D/s dynamic. But special considerations must be made in these situations.

Monogamy: No real considerations, outside the normal relationship ones, are needed for this style of relationship.

Polyamorous: As this is a group dynamic, considerations must be made to who can and cannot order a particular submissive around and how far can those orders go for those who are not the direct Owner of that sub. More advantageously, you can say that all Dominants in the group have the same rights and abilities to every submissive in the group. Being more advantageous as this may be, however, is not always a good thing to do. Many, if not most, submissives prefer to have only one Owner. So special considerations need to be made in a Poly if it contains several Doms and subs. This can take a lot of talking, planning, rule setting, and other detailed things to make sure everything works out.

I will add this, that it is my opinion that this is likely the most rewarding type of relationship, if you can make the D/s dynamics work together properly. Which takes a great deal of loyalty, respect, and trust to accomplish. I will also say that it is the hardest to maintain, and all members of the Poly have to work on it constantly to keep it working.

Open Relationship: The D/s dynamic here is fairly identical to Monogamy. The one difference here is this: Many subs are not always happy to share their Dom. In this style of relationship, you have to keep a very close eye on the limits, likes and dislikes of all your subs, to be sure you do not cross a line with any of them by trying to bring the wrong two of them together. However, this is basically the only real consideration, you need to worry about other than the typical things for an Open Relationship.

Play Partners: This is likely one of the more common styles of D/s relationships, and requires no real considerations outside the normal. Save again, some subs don’t like sharing their Owners.

In short, the biggest style of relationship with the most considerations would be Poly, closely followed by Open, then Playmates and finally Monogamy.

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-Master Vic Graves
March 14th 2016 10:00pm

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Community Events / MAsT: Hampton Roads Meeting
« Last post by Master Graves on March 06, 2016, 03:47:04 PM »
Who: MAsT Hampton Roads

Event Type: Monthly Community Meeting

Time: 7:30 - 9p

Where: A Restaurant in Newport News (Location kept secret except from attendees.)

Dress Code: Vanilla Casual, Non-Play, Community Public

Cost: Free for meeting, Food and Drink are at the venues prices. A donation jar will be passed around at some point, you do not need to donate, but it is good form to give at least a dollar.

Notes: The MAsT: Hampton Roads Monthly Meeting is held on the 2nd Wednesday of every Month from 7:30 - 9p.
Doors will open at 6:30 to allow time to eat and mingle prior to the start of the meeting at 7:30.

PLEASE NOTE: PER MAsT RULES, YOU MUST BE 21 TO ATTEND MAsT FUNCTIONS.

Please contact me for direction information.
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Community Events / M/s Circles
« Last post by Master Graves on March 06, 2016, 03:43:18 PM »
Who: MAsT Hampton Roads

Event Type: M/s Circles Disscussions

Where: Thumper's Keep (Location kept secret except from attendees.)

Time: 7:30 - 9p

Dress Code: Vanilla Casual, Non-Play, Community Public

Cost: Free

Notes: The MAsT: Hampton Roads M/s Circles are held the 4th Wednesday of every month from 7:30p - 9p.
They will be separate circles for Masters and slaves. These circles are to allow Masters and slaves the opportunity to discuss matters that are important to them in an open, supportive, and confidential atmosphere.

PLEASE NOTE: PER MAsT RULES, YOU MUST BE 21 TO ATTEND MAsT FUNCTIONS.

ALSO NOTE: Out of respect for the people who live in Thumper's Keep, please do NOT arrive any earlier than 6:30 on the night of the M/s circles. Thank you! :)

Please contact me if you need directions.
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Series News / Pre-Production has begin on Season One!
« Last post by Master Graves on March 03, 2016, 06:40:58 PM »
We are definitely moving forward with the show now, even though we don't even have a name yet.

We have a few guests who want to appear on the show already. And a few folks who are willing to help with the show in any way we need. We need more guests lined up yet, but we are pushing forward steadily. Where Lady Diana and I will be Executive producing, Lady Diana will be running the Camera most of the time, while I will be writing, directing and hosting the show. We can use a few more behind the scenes crew members, but can handle it on our own for now with no problems. What we really need are more guests. I have a short list of people I have met that I would like to be on the show, but a few of them would want to see the show before making a trip here to shoot a few episodes, I am sure. But I will be asking anyway.

This is an entirely volunteer project! We can't pay anyone for anything at this point. However, we will eventually be getting a donations page for the show up and running soon. If we can get some donations going, we may be able to start paying guests, at least for travel and room expenses, if not more. If you are interested in working for the show or being a guest, feel free to message me on fetlife.com (GothicRemorse), PM me here, send me an email, or post here on the forums (In the board below for Requests, Suggestions, & Questions.

Wish us luck! And hopefully we will start filming soon for a June / July premier! (Tentatively speaking, of course.)
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Community Events / Re: Taboo Tidewater
« Last post by Master Graves on February 27, 2016, 03:59:46 PM »
A great event, with Suspension and other Rope Bondage, some impact demos too. The lip-syncing Drag Queens were a bit disappointing, If you are going to preform a song, at least try to actually sing it. On a bright note there, they were good female impersonators though. I mean, I could easily tell they were men, but I had to look for the signs, as it wasn't immediately obvious. But over all, it was a great night. Lady Diana and I took Miss Aya with us and we all had a blast. We meet up with Sir Malcavian, The Wulfe's; Daddy Wulfe, aura Wulfe, and sunshine Wulfe, and Knotty Beth. It was great event and a lot of fun.

One things though... Next time, remind me to have only ONE Captain and Coke... In a short glass. Cause I either need to stop drinking all together, or start drinking a lot more. That headache was annoying. LOL One short glass and one tall glass was just way too much for me as I haven't had a drop of liquor in years. LOL
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