Menu

ABC’s of a Leather Brother

I saw this on Fetlife.com, posted by Sir_M_Malcavian (Fetlife), and had to post it here.

Edit: I found an awesome looking copy of it on FB so I replaced the image.

ABCs for Leather Brotherhood

I’m writing a book!

That’s right! You have indeed read the title correctly! The great windbag known as Master Vic Graves is writing a book!

What kind of book? What’s it about? I hear you all ask… Well, Ill tell you.

Firstly it is Non-Fiction. True stories, fact based opinions and essays, and totally real. Secondly, look at where you are… This is MY Blog and I am a kinky fetishist who seems to talk about little else lately. So I bet you can guess it’s about the fetish/kink lifestyle. And what does a good author write about? What they know best, and I know two things really well: Fetishes and Kink, and myself and my life. So guess what it is about… That’s right, my experiences, the things I learned and the wisdom I gained.

I wanted to share what I learned and how I learned it with others. Maybe teach some folks a few things, from newbies to vets and all in between. So, no, I am not being egotistical with it. But the best way to teach is to teach what you know the way you know how. And seeing as I have a hard time standing in front of people and speaking, I thought a book would do the job nicely. I know how to write, and I know how to tell a story. So, here it is.

I’ve finished the intro and chapter one already. Only up to page 12, double spaced and manuscript formatted (so it isn’t as long as it sounds.) But without further ado, here it is, the grand announcement of the title of my book:

HOW TO BE A GREAT MASTER/MISTRESS
(A.K.A. The Life and Wisdom of Master Vic Graves)
by, Master Vic Graves

I don’t know how soon I will post any previews of what I have written, or how much I will preview before I finish it. I also don’t know if it will ever get officially published. But if not, I’ll make it available in PDF format at least, if not Epub and Mobi too. But I’d love to have a hardcover print copy myself. We’ll see.

I think I need to change that title… That sounds so bad and super egotistical doesn’t it? I don’t know, I’ll think on it later.

Wish me luck!

Taboo Tidewater

I’m Going!

If you want to meet up there, just look for the 6′ 1″ white (really white) guy with Long Brown (going grey) Hair and a mustache and long beard on my chin. I’ll be wearing a Black Leather Stetson, Black Leather Duster, Black Leather Harley Davidson Boots, Black Jeans, Black Button-Up Shirt… OK, probably not a greatest way to recognize me… I think I just described half the guys in the community… But this will be easier: Black Cane topped by a Skull with Horns and a Full Sized Black Riding Crop (well half-Crop/half-Cane) hanging from it; Black Leather Gloves with a Chainmail Half-Gauntlet on my right hand and 2 Full-Finger and 1 Thumb Armor Rings on my left. And the Grim Reaper Pendant Necklace I’ll be wearing. And, if you can see it under my coat, a large hip pack on my right hip.

Can’t miss me really. LOL See you there!

(Information from Fetlife.com below)

Taboo Tidewater

“ Kinks, drinks, and play”

Date & Time: in about 20 hours Friday, February 26, 2016 · 9:00 PM – 3:00 AM  

Location: The Wave 4107 Colley Ave, Norfolk VA 23508   @ map

Cost: $8 at the door

Dress code: Fetish wear encouraged (within state ABC laws), formal, dress to impress!!!

Description:

Since the first event went so well we are pleased to host another event of this kind in the Hampton Roads area.

Friday February 26th, starting at 9pm @ the Wave nightclub in Norfolk VA we proudly present a high energy night filled with all of your fetish fantasies live!!!! This will be a kink friendly, high energy atmosphere, and a judgement free zone.

Scenes throughout the evening to include – Impact-Fire-Rope-Electric-Drag-Bondage

Silent auction- various fetish items will be auctioned during the night and all proceeds will be going directly to the YWCA battered women’s shelter. This is a great organization that was ecstatic the last time we reached out as a community and with everyone’s help we can make a difference!

Dress Code- Fetish attire is encouraged. Leather, latex, fishnets, sissy, furry, or whatever your kink is bring it on out! We have seen it all! This is a judgement free zone so dress in whatever you feel like but please remember keep it classy and within Virginia ABC laws(no genitals, nipples have to be covered with pasties and bottom portion of breast must be covered to meet laws)

Local vendors and crafters- this is something new we would like to try thus event. If you are a local crafter we would love to have you show off your skills and bring out some finished products that you would like to set out to sell. There is nothing better than supporting someone local!!!( if you would like to be a vendor please get ahold of shinydiscobalz and we will set you space aside)

Playspace- there will be various playspaces set up all evening so feel free to bring out all your kinky implements and have fun! We ask that you please be courteous of others scenes, clean up after yourselves, follow guidelines that will be posted, and must of all follow consent requirements.

The wave in Norfolk has been generous to open up their facility that evening so I encourage everyone to come out and enjoy meeting new kinksters and seeing old faces in the community! If you would like to volunteer please get ahold of StitchAsylum or Shinydiscobalz and we will be happy to direct you to a leader.

Please stay tuned to the event page as things may be added and hope to see another great turnout of kinksters in the tidewater area!

Group can be seen @
https://fetlife.com/groups/137340

Profile can be seen @
https://fetlife.com/users/5704112

Flier can be seen @
https://fetlife.com/users/465871/pictures/44614976

Shinydiscobalz & StitchAsylum

This is an 18 year and up event. Alcohol sales and consumption will be strictly monitored by the WAVE staff. With that being said party goers will be expected to act like respectful adults. Please show courtesy to others and enjoy your time you wish to spend.

Fetlife.com and My writtings

Hello,

I just wanted to make a note that I am on Fetlife.com as GothicRemorse. Which it doesn’t take a lot of looking to find out… However I thought I importaint to note that I post writting over there. Some of it I will repost here, some of it I won’t. Likewise I will post somethings here that I won’t repost there.

You have to have an account on Fetlife, and be logged in, to view or see anything there. But it is free to join and see everything (except videos, which you have to subscribe to the site to see. However, I will repost any and all videos either here or on the House of Graves Gallery.)

Everything I write, however, will be in one or more of these places: Here on my Blog, over on Fetlife.com, on the House of Graves main website, or on the House of Graves Forums/Gallery.

The Ten BDSM Commandments (Dom & Sub)

Ten Rules for Dominants / Ten Rules for Submissives
from the Society of Janus: http://www.soj.org/

The author of these two articles is unknown. They had appeared in an early issue of the Eulenspiegal Society’s Prometheus magazine, and in the July, 1980 Growing Pains. A representative of the Society of Janus has attributed ownership to SOJ — http://www.soj.org/ — but was unable to identify the author.

Ten Rules for Dominants

1. Be Patient
Until you enter into a contract with a submissive, you have no more right to order him/her around than does anyone else. Give your bottom time to get to know you and what you like. Finesse and subtlety are major elements of dominance. Similarly, strength and gentleness go hand in hand. The sensitivity and awareness (or lack thereof) that you show in the real world is likely to be repeated in the playroom.

2. Be Humble
You may be God’s/Goddess’ gift to the world, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunities to show how good you are – and plenty of opportunities to make a fool of yourself. No matter what you claim, the “real you” will show through in a scene. Don’t set yourself up for a failure by developing expectations that you know you can never reach.

3. Be Open
Although the top is classically considered to be the teacher in SM, you can always learn from your bottom, no matter how inexperienced. Be willing to learn from other dominants who may have a totally different perspective from yours. Try to approach by-now-familiar trips with an attitude of wonderment and discovery. Be aware that everyone has her or his own personal style.

4. Communicate
You are responsible for finding out basic, essential information about the people you play with, such as experience, limits, likes and dislikes, and health information. Playing SM without this knowledge is like Russian Roulette. Talk about your head-space and your review of SM with your bottom, so that any uncertainties can be dealt with before you start playing. Clearly spell out roles, rules, limits and contracts. Do not take for granted that your bottom instinctively knows the ground rules.

5. Be Honest
If you lack experience in an area that your bottom would like to experiment with, be honest about it. Your partner has a right to know that. Be honest with yourself and take your submissive only to those levels at which you are completely in control of the situation. Safety should always be the first concern, taking priority over how hot a particular scene is.

6. Be Sensitive
There’s a very fine line between a sensitive, caring dominate and a self-righteous, insensitive overbearing clod. Your scene should be a creative synthesis of you needs and fantasies, and your bottoms needs and fantasies. Although, on the surface, your submissive is serving you, what actually is happening is that dominant and submissive are serving each other. Earn the complete trust of your submissive and never violate or even threaten to violate that trust. His or her submission is a gift to you. Use it appropriately.

7. Be Realistic
End the scene with the bottom wanting more, not wishing there had been less. Remember that power, control, and sensitivity are the keys, not just the intensity of the stimulation. Be clear about what is fantasy, and has little to do with what works in practice. Your favorite porno picture books may be stimulating in themselves, but don’t try to imitate them to the last detail.

8. Be Really Dominant
Submissives are looking for someone who will take over their body and mind, not just for brute strength. Real people are wanted, not just cardboard images from ads or stereotypes. Your dominance enhances your whole existence. It does not cover up or substitute for other areas of your life – it is you. Make your submissive fall in love with you, and expect them to give themselves up to you totally. Follow up on rules, expect obedience, and punish appropriately when it is called for. Don’t shirk your responsibility to your bottom or to your sister/fellow tops. Be dependable and expect dependability. You have agreed to take the dominant role – now take it!

9. Be Healthy
Like any strenuous activity, SM requires that its participants be in top physical and emotional health. Many factors, including the amount you sleep, your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake affect your performance and endurance during a scene. Don’t attempt to do SM when your physical or emotional energy is low. As a dominant you have a special responsibility to be in control of yourself and on top of the scene. An attitude of “drugs and alcohol don’t affect me that much…I can do it anyway” violates your submissive’s trust in you and can be dangerous. If you don’t want to accept the responsibilities, you shouldn’t be playing the game!

10. Have Fun
After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have earned, and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasures which come from responsible, creative SM play.

Ten Rules for Submissives

1. Be Patient
A potential top will let you know if she or he is interested in you or not. Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and to satisfy someone who will take into consideration the realization of your fantasies. Don’t expect your top to be able to turn on like a light switch. The timing must be right for both of you.

2. Be Humble
You may be God’s/Goddess’ gift to the world and the most sought after prize in town, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are. No matter what you claim, the “real you” will show through in a scene. Don’t set yourself up for failure by developing expectations that you know you and your top can never reach.

3. Be Open
You can learn something about SM and about yourself from everyone into the scene, no matter how experienced or inexperienced they are, or how dominant or submissive they are. SM is a very personal art, and an “I already know it all” attitude will make you miss valuable SM lessons and experiences, and ignore potentially valuable SM friends.

4. Communicate
Verbalization is necessary, but at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. Your top needs to know basic information about you, such as experiences, fantasies, health concerns, and turn-offs. But -unless it’s an emergency – wait until your top asks. Don’t expect your dominant to be a mind-reader and instinctively knows your needs, wants, and limits. Your cooperation will enhance the scene for both of you.

5. Be Honest
Don’t be afraid to share your needs and fantasies. Your dominant expects it. Honesty about your wants, health concerns, and turn-offs is essential to a good scene. Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the top will base the scene on inaccurate information. Besides causing problems, it can be dangerous.

6. Be Vulnerable
Your scene is a two-way street. It is not just the physical realization of your prior fantasies. If you want to limit your experience to certain physical and psychological stimulation, then contract with your top ahead of time. But don’t always expect your top to be a puppet in a fantasy play you’ve written in your head. It’s far better to let your top surprise you, to extend your limits, to take you to places you’re never been before. When you trust your top completely, let her or him know it, and let him or her guide you into new fantasies.

7. Be Realistic
Your dominant is human, and even the most experienced tops have moments of awkwardness and indecision. Don’t call attention to what you perceive as a lapse. Know the difference between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and magazines. Few tops are rich enough to afford a large dungeon with a lavish layout of equipment…Your top’s equipment is expensive – respect it and don’t abuse it.

8. Be Really Submissive
This is the whole point. Let your dominant take you over completely. Don’t coach or second guess or be critical of your top. Exchange information on your special needs before the scene starts, but once it starts be quiet! If you insist on running a scene to your own specifications, then you should try being a top. You have agreed to limitations of your own power. Stay within those limitations. Respect and obey your top and expect punishment if you don’t. Accept it gracefully and cheerfully. Your top has many things to be concerned with, including your safety and what turns you on. Be loyal and dependable and enjoy your role.

9. Be Healthy
SM, like any strenuous activity, requires that its participants – both active and passive – be in top physical and emotional health. The amount you sleep, your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake, and everyday stress affect your response and endurance during a scene. Your dominant needs to know when your physical or emotional energy is low. No matter how tempting a scene sounds, an “I want it all now” attitude when you aren’t able to give your all will leave both of you feeling let down. You serve your dominant and yourself by staying healthy.

10. Have Fun
After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have earned and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasure which comes from responsible, creative SM play.

With You Away from Me (All of You)

I can’t eat,
I can’t sleep,
With you away from me.

I can’t think,
I can’t breathe,
With you away from me.

I can’t talk,
I can’t smile,
With you away from me.

I need to see you beneath the stars,
I need to hold you next to me,
I need all of you.

I need to dance beneath the moon,
I need to feel you in my arms,
I need all of you.

I can’t laugh,
I can’t be,
With you away from me.

I can’t love,
I can’t hate,
With you away from me.

I can’t live,
I can’t die,
With you away from me.

I need your care, your love, your pain,
I need your screams, your moans, your sighs,
I need all of you.

I need your mind, your heart, your soul,
I need your kiss, your touch, your flesh,
I need all of you.

I am nothing,
With you away from me,
I need all of you,
As you have all of me.

©2016 Master Vic Graves 02/16/2016 at 1:34am

Dedicated to both my wife, and the one I wish to call mine.
I mean each word equally to both of them, as if it were written in my own blood.

Let Me… (A Master’s love for a slave)

Let me be thy desires,
as I take my desires from thee.
Let me be thy passion,
as I taketh my passions from thee.
Let me rule thee,
as thee shalt rule me.

Let me surround thee,
as I give thee my heart.
Let me bind thee,
as I give thee my mind.
Let me inside thee,
as I give thee my soul.

Let me lead thee,
and I shalt follow thy path.
Let me show thee the way,
as I find my way in thee.
Let me taketh thee further than thou hast ever gone,
as thee taketh me further than ever I knew I could go.

Let me command thee,
and I shalt obey.
Let me discipline thee,
and I shalt reward.
Let me own thee,
and I shalt be thy slave.

-Master Vic Graves ©2016, February 1, 10:00pm

(Inspired by the line “Let me own you, and I will be your slave” from the movie entitled “Labyrinth” by Dennis Lee & Jim Henson (Story); Terry Jones (Screenplay); A.C.H. Smith (Novelization).)

Dedicated to a very special woman in my life, who I one day hope to call mine, forever and always.

Greetings and Welcome

I would like to extend my warmest and most respectful appreciation to you for visiting my Blog.

How about a little information about me and an introduction to this blog? I am Lord Master Vic Graves, Head of Household (a.k.a. Lord Master) for The House of Graves.

What should you call me? Well, I am usually introduced as Master Vic or Master Graves. If you are a Dominant, you may simply call me Vic in casual situations, or Master Vic in More formal ones. If you are a submissive, I am not fond of the term Sir and only find it acceptable from one particular person,  I am not your Master, so please don’t call me just ‘Master’ either. If you are submissive, Mister Vic or Mister Graves, will do nicely in casual situations, or in more formal one Master Graves. The only people who ever call me Lord Master anything are members of my household, and even then only in formal situations. In extremely formal situations, such as a meeting of several houses where introductions will be required to be formally done, then the full title is acceptable as well.

Aside from all this protocol that makes me look a bit pompous, I am actually a fairly laid back and relaxed person. My ego is in check and I despise arrogance, particularly in myself, so I am not as arrogant as I may sound occasionally. I am both very strict and serious, or very loose and silly, depends on the situation and my mood. Some days I get down right goofy, other days might give you the impression I have a god complex.  But it all reality, I am just a pure form of chaos.

Unlike most who say ‘Yeah, I’m chaotic. Never know what I’m going to do next!’ I really am chaotic. Most who say this are just random, scattered, ADHD, or what have you. You can always predict that they will be a different person, and that isn’t chaos. While I, however, might stay the same in every way for a week, a month, maybe even a year or more. And then suddenly, for no reason, change. Maybe a lot, maybe a little, but always noticeable. Then maybe I stay that way for a random amount of time, then change again, right out of the blue. Sometimes, you can get so used to me, that you have everything ready for me every day for a month because I am “so predictable”. Then, without warning, I come in and don’t want any of it. I’ve changed again, and you are left wondering why. Well, I can’t answer that one, cause I don’t know either. It’s just the way I am. I will always keep you on your toes, that’s for sure. But that is real chaos, real unpredictability, the pure essence of the wild. You can’t predict me, don’t even try. All you can predict is that, sooner or later, though only the Divine knows when, I will change, somehow, in some way, to some degree. I’m sure you will see that in my posts here, eventually. And if you know me in person, you’ll see it sooner or later if you hang around long enough.

Welcome to the Blog of a Chaotic, Master, Sadist, Primal, Vampire, Daddy, with many fetish and kink interests. I have done my duty and warned you, it only gets deeper from here.

My next post will be a brief summery of me… Brief, heh… Let’s not lie shall we? I am a giant fucking windbag of verbosity. Nothing about me is ‘brief’ in any way, shape, or form. But it will be brief “for me” to write. Because trust me, when I get going strong, it is hard to stop me. Again, I have given you fair warning. Continue at your own risk. But if you do choose to continue reading my blog, thank you, I will do my best not to disappoint you and keep you entertained. I hope you enjoy all that is to come.

Until next time, I bid thee farewell.

Master Graves